If Zeno Had a Beard
by Super Pan-chan
Summary: What if Zeno had a beard? What problems would he run into? Find out by reading this story rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

_If Zeno had a beard._

An; Okay, I own Zeno. Got that? **HE IS MINE! ***doesn't give a damn if you try to sue* Zeno is Mine 4 ever and Always. Me and My Bestest Friend "Joeykatoey" Came up with this idea so she kinda owns this story to. Check out her story it good. Neways With out further ado *trumpets play, and it rains Confetti and Ballons*

Chapter 1- The Bet

**(I OWN ZENNY-CAKES not the rest of Zatch Bell) **

" I win again! Zeno! " Zenos mate, Day, Gloated. She had just whoped his ass in yet another came of "Street Fighter"

" Thats because I let you win. I was just trying to spare your feelings." Came Zenos smug remark.

" You said that For the last 17 games! You just dont wanna admitt you got beat by a girl in video games!" Day teased the poor albino mamodo.

Zeno blushed. "Im telling the truth he proclaimed!"

" Well that Blush on your face tells a different story." Day smirked victoriously.

" It means Nothing and you know it~!" Zeno said sounding more like he was trying to convince himself than day.

Day's smirk widened and she got a brilliant idea. " How bout the zenny-kun, If you win the next game i'll do what ever you want for three whole weeks. But..."

"But?" Zeno said wondering what his crazy mate had in mind

" **If I win**...You have to grow a beard and keep it for 4 whole weeks!"

"?...wha-"

"DONT JUDGE ME~!" Exclaimed Day

"Okay?...Anyways I except your challenge but be warned I wont hold back this time." He smiled Cockily.

"Im counting on it Prepare to be demolished" Day's arrogance took over

_~Five minutes Later~_

" I cant believe it..." Zeno whispered to him self

"What was that babe?" Day said in a teasing manner

The big bold letters was all Zeno could see

_**PLAYER ONE IS THE WINNER! PLAYER TWO YOU LOSE!**_

Day smiled widley. "Winners Dont Lose" She then did a Victory Dance.

"How could I lose~..." Zenos defeated reply came

" Im Day silly. You never even stood a chance."

Zeno sweat droped. -_-'

"I wonder how'll you'll look with a beard!" Day giggled.

Zenos eyes were wide as saucers. " You were serious! "

" As serious as a Heart Attack "

"I cant!" Zeno said worrilied.

"DO IT OR NO SEX OR YELLOWTAIL FOR 4 WEEKS!" (An: Fav line :-) )

" ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!" Zeno exclamied

" I will if you dont keep your part of the bet!" Day threatened

" okay...i'll do it...".Zeno sighed in defeat

"Yay! Thank you Zenny Cakes" Day kissed Zenos cheek then skipped away.

An: i'll most likely update soon. Review if you want


	2. Chapter 2

_If Zeno had a Beard_

An: Again, I OWN ZENO! Idc if you try and sue.

_Chapter 2- Grandpa Bell_

**( I OWN ZENO! )**

Zeno's beard was the same shade of purplish white as his hair so unfortanetly for him he looked much like Zeno's grandfather.

"I cant believe you made me do this!" Zeno said to Day while looking in the mirror.

Day snickered. "Its not that bad" She lied.

"It is too!" Zeno argued.

Day then burst out laughing.

Zeno's face looked like this -_- "Your real fucked up day."

"Thats why you love me" She said between laughter

Just then Day and Zenos oldest daughter Lila came skipping over to them " Mommy, can I have a c-" She stopped once she saw Zeno. "Mommy, When did Grandpa get here?"

Day who had just stopped laughing when Lila came bit back the laughter to see Zeno's reaction.

Zeno's face Scrunched up "It's me Lila! Your father."

"Nice Try Gramps. You got his voice down you just gotta get rip of that...ridicu-er..."Intresting"...Beard." Lila said then giggled.

"I am Zeno!" The albino tried to prove he is Zeno and not Grandpa Bell.

"He really is Zeno Lila." Day said giggling.

"In that case...What the hell is that on your face? A dead polar bear cub?" Lila teased him

"Why you little..." Zeno said trying to catch her.

"Catch me if ya can Old man." Lila said then ran to her room laughing.

"She gets it from you..." Zeno said sighing.

"I know...grandpa."

"Im going From a walk." Zeno said dryly and stormed outside.

"Be careful out there old timer!" she called after him.

An: Next chapter Zeno goes on his walk. *evil smirk*


	3. Chapter 3

_If Zeno had a beard._

An: Okay. Im sick as hell. My Joeys eating right now this is the perfect time to write more chapters! :-) so here we go.

_Chapter 3- I'm 22!_

***I OWN ZENO FUCKERS!***

The weather outside was very warm for this time of year. The sun was actually visual and the cloudless blue sky was beautiful.

With his head down roaming the well taken care off neighborhood he lived in kicking a can around was none other than zeno.

But Zeno didn't take much time to notice anything given how scourned he was.

"Damn woman..." He mummble kicking a can. "Damn it all...Fucking jerks" He continued to ramble on until he accidentally kicked the can on the nieghbors lawn.

"Better go pick it up." He sighed and went to retrieve the miskicked can on the very well groomed lawn.

It just so happened that as soon as Zeno was about to pick up the can the crabby owner of Lawn and Home came out getting ready to leave for work.

"GET OFF MY PROPERTY! HOBO!" The Neighbor, , yelled infuriated

"IT'S ME ZENO! MY HOUSE IS OVER THERE (an: he is pointing at the house) IM NOT A HOBO!" Zeno tried to reason with the crazy neighbor

"Doesn't ring a bell! (an: no pun intended) Now get the fuck off my lawn!"

"Im the one with the crazy wife! I'm only here to pick up this can I made a mistake and kicked on your lawn!"

"Listen old man! GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE!"

"IM NOT AN OLD MAN GOT DAMN IT!"

"HONEY!" called .

"What!" Mrs. John or should I say Police Chief John stormed outside in her Uniform.

"oh shit" Zeno said to himself.

"THIS OLD MAN WONT GET OFF OUR LAWN!"

"DO YOU KNOW ROAMING ON OTHERS PROPERTY IS A CRIME!"

"Yes its just-"

"Tell it to the judge Old man" said then went over and cuffed him

"BUT IM NOT AN OLD MAN! IM 22!" Zeno tried to explain

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" She said while draging him to the police car in the drive way he some how missed.

"BUT I AM"

"Mmmmhmmm" She then opened the back seat door and chucked him in.

"IM TELLING THE TRUTH!" Zeno proclaimed

"What ever gets you to sleep at night" She then sped off the Polics Station.

An: um...yeah...well I asked joey should I arrest Zenny-Cakes she said yes so here we are :-)


	4. Chapter 4

_If zeno had a Beard_

An: Yeah. Im surprised I actually finishing this. Prob like 1 more chapter after this yay!

_Chapter 4- Santa's in the Slammer._

"PLEASE LET ME GO! MY WIFE IS GUNNA BEAT MY ASS IF SHE FINDS OUT IM HERE!" Zeno yelled then began banging on The steel bars that had prevented him from going anywhere (An: sure he could escape but if he does he'll be in even more trouble wont he XD)

"You need a good Ass Beating since you like to Trespass! Who raised you a gorilla?!" Mrs. John half teased half scolded.

"NO KING AND QUEEN BELL DID!" Zeno shouted at her

"You look Nothing Like King Zatch."

Zeno glared at the idiotic woman "IM HIS TWIN BROTHER! _**ZENO BELL!**_"

"Hmm...oh wait!...Never heard of you."

Zeno sweatdroped. "Dont I get a phone call!"

"Yeah I guess" said

She took him to the phone so he could have his call.

_Who the hell am I gunna call! If I call day she'll kill me! Fuck my life! Uh um...maybe I can call one of my friends! _

Satisified Zeno was about to dial a number when a thought came

_I don't have any friends that dont hate me. Damn it! Maybe one of Days Friends? Hmm...Yeah that way I can bribe them with pixie stix! Uh...which one...well I only know joey's since she calls our house so much._

"Hurry up and call someone already!" Mrs. John nagged.

"Fine." He then called Joeys cell

_**At the Bell house**_

"They grow up so fast!" Joey said as she watch Akai, her Daughter, Show Hakudoshi, Days son, Who was Boss.

"I know! It seems like just yesterday Haku learned to smile not smirk!"

"uh Day. That was yesterda- Hold on my phones vibrating" Joey looked at the caller id.

"Who is it?" Day said wanting to be noisy

"Holy shit! It's Federal Prision!" Joey exclaimed.

Days eyes widened "I TOLD YOU BEATING UP THE GROCERY DUDE WAS A BAD IDEA!"

"He tried to charge me extra!" Joey tried to defend herself

"Anwser it! Or they'll go to your house or something!"

"fine..." Joey anwsered the phone shakilly. "...H-he-Hello?"

"Joey! Its me Zeno listen I need a fav-" He began

"Zeno?!" Joey exclaimed.

"Zeno?" Day questioned "Ask him where the hell he is! He's been gone for like 3 hours!"

"Where the fuck are you?! Albino Idiot!" Joey exclaimed at him

"In the...uh...im...er...in Jail." Zeno said

"Jail?! Omg! Day! He's in JAIL"

"JAIL!" Day yelled at the top of her lungs. "IM GUNNA KILL HIM! LET ME TALK TO THIS STUPID SANTA LOOK A LIKE!"

Zeno's Widened. He gulped. "Day's with you..."

"Yeah. And boy is She pissed! She wants to talk to you." Joey snickered and handed Day the phone.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!" Day yelled at him

"I didn't do anything! Its all a misunderstanding"

"MISUNDERSTANDING MY ASS!"

"Whats going on Haku?" Akai asked worrilly

"Something about Santa being in the Slammer." Haku explained

"That cant be right! Santa is a good guy!" Akai exclaimed

"Well thats what my momma said"

"I know. I gotta see this!" Akai being the curious 8 year old she is wanted to know what "santa" had done.

"Look i'll explain everything if you come and get me!" Zeno told his scourned with

"IM COMMING NOW YOU IDIOT!" Day said then hung up the phone almost sqwashing it.

"Hell have no fury like a scourned woman..." Joey said observing her slightly dented phone.

"Uggh Joey will ya come with me I really dont wanna kill anything."

"Sure Day!" Joey said.

"Oo Momma can I come?!" Akai jumping up and down in place

"Me too" Haku said giving day puppy dog eyes.

"Fine" Joey and Day said.

"Yay!" Akai cheered

"Lets go get this idiot!" ( An: Lila is at a friends house )

Day, Joey, Haku, and Akai then made thier way to the Prision

An: Next chapter will the last :-)


	5. Chapter 5

An: After re-reading the previous chapters I realized I have butchered the English language…..hehehe sorry? I also realized while candy high I sound 100 times crazier. *still obsessed with Zeno* but my writing has improved a bit since I started this so enjoy!

"When I get my hands on that- Moron his ass is grass!" Day slammed her feet on the gas petal going 100 miles an hour.

"Uh…Day don't you think we should slow do-"

Day turned to look at her best friend with wild eyes.

"I meant, Speed it up…." Joey said panicked

"Why are we going so fast!" Akai called from the back seat warily.

Haku just shrugged "You get used to it Akai."

"O-Okay…" The ravenette said shakily.

No sooner were they down at the police station, with the cold and harsh look in Day's eyes they were helped instantly.

The small group of 4 was lead to Zeno's holding cell.

"OH MY GOD HAKU-KUN! LOOK IT'S _**SANTA**_!" Akai said excitedly.

Day just crossed her arms as she glared at the albino. "Uh…Hey Day-Chan…"

"Don't hey Day-Chan me! BAKA!"

"Wow, Santa smells like Dad…" Haku noticed

"I know weird!"

Joey just snickered watching it all play out.

Akai and Haku looked at each other before nodding having the same thought. _'We have to save Santa!'_

The three adults were yelling and screming at each other now was there chance.

Akai began searching for a key.

"Haku I can't find it~" Akai whispered

"I know what to do." he whispered back.

He crawled over to the cell door "secretly" everyone watching intently to see what he would do. Suddenly he ripped the cell door off.

A large alarm sounded off.

Their eyes wide as saucers as police flooded the scene.

"Grab on to me!" Zeno said. When he felt everyone tug onto his mantel they were off. Teleporting to the car

"DRIVE WOMAN DRIVE!" Joey hollered as the police were right on their trail.

"PULL OVER! ZENO BELL! THE CONSIQUENCES FOR THIS WILL BE MASS! ZENO ZENO ZENO!"

"_-Zeno~! Zeno! Zeno!"_

**HI-YAH! **

"Owe." Zeno groaned in pain and rubbed his now bruised shoulder.

"I said, If I win...You have to grow a beard and keep it for 4 whole weeks…Is it a bet?"

Zeno sighed in relief as he realized the whole thing was a terrible…daymare!

"Hell fucking no!" He threw the controller to the floor crushing it with his bare foot. "NEVER"

He ran away screaming. All Day heard was "Shaving is essential."

"What's his problem?, Oh well." Day continued merrily playing video games.

**THE END!**

**An: Hope ya liked it! BYE BYE!**


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